Happiness is within you

What is your purpose in life?

Your answers may be as to have a good career, to be rich, to have a successful family life, to be an entrepreneur, to be healthy, to be a successful person, to become religious, etc. Have you ever thought that all of us, from different names, providing the same answer? All the above answers are having only one purpose.

“To be happy”

From the day we were born, until we die, we find happiness. However, there are some misconceptions about happiness. Those are,

  • Happiness needs to be found externally
  • Happy people are always happy; Happiness is a destination
  • Happiness is the same for everyone
  • More happiness comes from big achievements

What is the reality of Happiness?

1. Happiness can be found on our own; internally.

There are two types of happiness as Natural Happiness and Synthetic Happiness”. Natural happiness comes to you when everything happens as you expected.

Synthetic happiness means we find and create happiness on our own. This is happening when natural happiness is not there.

For example, failing exams, losing jobs, heartbreaking love affairs, marriage cancellations, heartbreaking marriages, toxic relatives, issues with children, health issues, financial issues, losing friends, etc. can bring you a lot of pain at that moment. But studies have shown that other than very few sad memories, most sad memories won’t last for more than three months.

People can get used to it and synthesize happiness like looking for a silver line in a dark cloud. Naturally, people do not need the support of a therapist as all human brains are working on synthesizing happiness.

“I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.” — Hunter S Thompson

Some may think that synthetic happiness is fake and dramatic, which is not true. From both types of happiness, people genuinely feel good. The nicest thing about synthetic happiness is, you take everything in life as a blessing. You will start thinking about the positive side of all negative situations.


2. Happy people are not always happy

Happiness is not a destination. It is a state of mind. No one is always happy and that is good. Sadness will realize what you actually need to be happy. There should be sadness in your life in order to feel happiness. Hence, we call life a “ups and downs” thing. People ask “How are you?” which is incorrect. People need to change it to “How are you now?” since happiness changes from time to time.

When you do different types of work during the day, your mind can change. Sometimes you wander with your mind. It can be pleasant as well as unpleasant. Therefore, no one is always happy and no one is always sad.


3. The way of being happy is not the same for everyone

People have different perceptions and preferences. The ways of being happy are different from person to person. Some people find happiness in being single. Some other people find happiness in relationships. Some are happy with routine jobs. Some other people find happiness in their own businesses. Likewise, happiness varies from person to person. Therefore, we cannot be happy by doing what others do. We need to find our own way of happiness.


4. More happiness comes from little things

Happiness is a collection of thousand small things. We find happiness from a collection of little moments than from one major moment. For example, as employees, we will find happiness through daily appreciations, support from the team, nice work facilities, small tea time with work buddies, etc. than one major salary increment at the end of the year. Little 365 days of happiness is better than once a year thing.

Another example is, your spouse will be happy with daily caring and affection, collecting little memories and open-minded communication than one expensive gift for Valentine's day. One day, you will realize those small things were the most important.

From the above facts, we found that happiness can be created on our own. But, will it last long? Following are the ways to make your happiness long-lasting.

  • Try to remember the things you are grateful for every day

Some people are taking pictures of happy memories, some are writing them down. When you see or read these happy moments later, you will refresh your happiness in your mind. When collecting the things you are grateful for, you will find happiness was there even in your worst days. Do not bring unhappiness from the past as you are ruining your own happiness from these negative thoughts. Try to have gratitude always for what you have and always think that you are blessed.

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”
Willie Nelson

  • Exercise and have the fitness to your body and mind

Exercising will awake your happy nerves. This is not about going to the gym or being hard on your body shaping. At least try to walk for 30 minutes, have a small bicycle ride, practice yoga, try to dance to your favorite songs, etc. This will give you lasting happiness since you refresh your mind, sleep well and reduce stress.

“A healthy body is a platform for flourishing a healthy mind.”
Pawan Mishra

  • Spread kindness always

Try to be happy with the people around you. Make it a hobby to spread kindness. You will find it is really satisfying when you give something to others. It is even more satisfying when you can give something you really like. You can multiply your happiness by giving.

“Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.” — Barbara De Angelis

  • Pick social relationships carefully

The people around us can directly affect our happiness. Always try to maintain your limitations with the people you deal with. You should be able to identify the good and toxic people. Try to allocate times on your day to chat with the “happy people” around you. Always try to have boundaries around you. Then your internal happiness will last longer with you.

“People inspire you, or they drain you — pick them wisely.” Hans F. Hansen

  • Practice mindfulness

The best way to practice mindfulness is meditation. when you meditate, you will get a chance to re-align your brain cells. you’ll find it is easy to focus on daily tasks. This will provide you long-term happiness.

“Meditation and concentration are the way to a life of serenity.”– Baba Ram Dass

  • Accept yourself

It feels really good if you can admit your faults. Be brave to apologize for the wrongs you’ve done. It feels really good if you get rid of the negatives from your mind. Always, you need to be happy about yourself, be loyal to yourself, and be truthful to yourself. If you live honestly even when no one is watching you, your happiness won’t run away from you.

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.” — George Orwell

In short,

In life, we all need to be happy. You can create your own happiness. Even though happy people also be sad sometimes, they can quickly be happy as they know how to re-create happiness. Happiness comes as little things. To keep your happiness longer, keep memories of your happiness, exercise daily, spread kindness always, strengthen your circle with happy people, meditate regularly and accept your negatives and correct them.

Life is too short to be sad!




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Vishaka Pathiraja

Vishaka Pathiraja

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